Pink & Purple Hippos Eating Ice Cream
I recently asked my 8 year old daughter Abby to tell me what she does to overcome her fears - such as when she is getting up in front of people to speak (like at school) or to dance. Without skipping a beat she said - "Pink and purple hippos eating ice cream"... We had a good laugh and she told me that she really does this. She said she overheard me one time telling her older sister Elizabeth to think of Pink hippos whenever she was nervous. Abby picked up on that and took it an extra step.
When I was younger I rarely got nervous before performing or getting in front of people... I've been doing it since I was 6 years old, singing in front of my family and then at church. I'm just comfortable. As a younger adult, I rarely if ever faced something that I wasn't willing to try - preaching, weddings & funerals, you name it - just put me up there and I was confident in my skills and confident that God would give me the words to say and would help me to be effective.
As I get older though, for the first time in my life I face fears. I recently was asked to consider taking a position leading worship at a very large church - rather than just jumping at the opportunity, I slowly and methodically considered it - weighing the pro and cons, and mostly - fighting fears. Fears of making the wrong choice, fears of losing income to provide for my kids college education, fears of losing retirement and financial security, fears of leaving friends and familiar places, fears of having to start over, fears that it wouldn't work out - and most of all, fears that it wasn't God's will.
What I really needed to do - and need to do - is just think of pink and purple hippos eating ice cream. The mythical pursuit of "God perfect will for our lives" is not a narrow path where one slip and you will fall into an abyss - God just wants us to be willing to take another step on a path that is not well lit beyond the step for that day, or that moment. He promises to never 'leave us or forsake us' - he promises to 'make your path straight' - he doesn't promise to show his physical presence when we are afraid, or to give us light for the entire journey. If he did - then when wouldn't need faith.
So next time I'm faced with a fear (like recently when I was coming back to play basketball after 2 months of sitting out due to multiple hamstring injuries) I am going to think of Pink and Purple Hippos Eating Ice Cream, and in that, give no place for anything other than faith in my heart and in my mind.
Labels: Facing Fears
It's About Time...
About 4 years have past since my last post... thinking about shutting down the blog... however, even the few posts are interesting to reflect through... so even if this is just for me, I'm going to keep throwing something out here on occasion.
Been reading a lot lately about God's calling, God's will and seeking to understand the best way to pursue these desires no matter where I'm working or living. Colossians 3:23 comes to mind...
Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men... |
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After spending so many years helping others pursue God's will for their life in and through their secular occupations, I've been living it out myself for these past few years - I can say honestly - it is not easy at all. A consistent walk - always in control of emotions, always thinking of others to insure the conversation is seasoned with 'salt' - always looking for God 'appointments' - it is immensely more difficult to live outside the walls of the church than it is inside of the walls of the church (vocational ministry).
I am very blessed to continue to have an effective ministry in churches of a whole host of shapes and sizes on the weekends (www.simpleworship.net)... but the one thing i wrestle with is whether God wants me to pastor again... At this point, I'm rusty... but if God desires me to move in that direction again - I am fully willing. For now though - he has me where he wants me it seems. Pastoring comes through husbandry, fathering, coaching...
Good to jot these "notes" down.... even if I'm the only one who will ever read them...
Labels: Living "outside the walls" - Col. 3:23
Flying By
Another six months of life has passed. What a ride! It is amazing to me how quickly time moves when you stay busy. There are times when I hear people talk about slowing down, and as I said earlier this year, pausing to reflect and breathe is good, but we were not left on this planet to simply sit around and consume resources :-)!
I also hear a lot of people talking lately about how we should not allow ourselves to be defined by what we do. While the intention behind that thought is good, i.e., God loves us for who we are not what we do (and this is true of course), it is unfortunate that many Christian leaders are misleading people to believe that we don't need to "do" anything for God. I couldn't disagree more...
As I watch my girls grow, (and yes, the time is moving by quickly) I remember what they do and what we do together creates moments and memories. I attend their activities watching them, cheering them on, praciting with them, helping them to improve their ability to perform, to create, to contribute. They want me to watch them - just like I want my heavenly Father to watch me...
Don't we all, even those who don't know Christ, long to know that what we are doing will make a difference, will last, will be remembered?
Colossians 3:17 & 23 teaches us to make sure that what we do and what we say is done for the right motives. There is the key. That is what we should be teaching people. Not that they should sit back and just meditate on who God is - though I need to make more time for that too :-), but rewards are not going to be given out in heaven because we lived the most righteously, meditated the most intensely or "sat the bench" the most effectively. Rewards will be given out based on "the good deeds we were created to do" or as Titus 3:8 says, "This is a trustworthy statement; and concerning these things I want you to speak confidently, so that those who have believed God may be careful to engage in good deeds", and vs 14, "let our people also learn to engage in good deeds to meet pressing needs, that they may not be unfruitful".
I know there is much more that needs to be said to finish the line of thinking, and also to bring some balance and definition to what is meaningful activity for God, and what simply brings glory to man done in the name of God. There is a fine line.
For now, I am enjoying watching my kids play with their toys, but I am also enjoying watching them learn to give of themselves to others, to causes and activites that bring joy, bring goodness and help us all to remember that life is made to live, not just endure.
BTW... I'm still enjoying the sunsets, and occasionally - sunrises :)... this one was taken at an overlook just north of Beckly, WV called "The Grandview"... the clouds from the valley came all the way up to our ground level, several thousand feet up. We drove to this point at about 5:30am in early October on our way home from a ministry trip in Roanoke, VA. Lori, the girls and I all sang "Shout To The Lord" and "Awesome God" at the top of our lungs as the sun rose. It was a powerful moment of worship for our family.
Catching My Breath
It's been awhile since I stopped chasing dreams, chasing God and chasing the future to simply catch my breath and enjoy the moment. Life is about seeking and chasing, but it is also but enjoying the end of the chase (or maybe we could call them "pauses"). If all we ever do is push for the future, it is easy to miss the many, many moments along the way that God gives us to enjoy him, enjoy his creation and enjoy each other. The past several months have been full of change, full of blessing, meeting new challenges, full of learning and full of making new friends - and renewing old friendships too.
On our recent trip to Hawaii, I was reminded of the sheer excitement of a sunset. Nearly everyday we were there, I was thinking about where I would watch the sunset from. Very little computer, TV or other technology distracted me in this pursuit. Since returning to the "mainland", I find myself more in tune with the little reminders of God's goodness and his creative genius and power that surrounds us everywhere. Even the Ohio sunsets and flower look more beautiful.
It has been a good couple of months enjoying God's hand of blessing in our lives and ministry. Lori and I had a great time ministering to the people of Hawaii and the people of Roanoke, VA these past couple of weeks. Between the beautiful oceans and beaches and the grandeur of the Blue Ridge Mountains, God is there... it has been good to just stop for a moment and "catch" Him whom we all shall "chase" until the moment we step into the true Paradise.
Oh Pickles!
Oh Peekulhs (pickles)!
Another quote from those under 3 foot in our family. At this point, only Abby remains. So yes, it's another classic. We have no idea where she came up with this phrase. But she has started using it all the times, and she loves the reaction she gets out of people (or me :) from it.
She said it yesterday when she was trying to get me to help her figure out which shoe went on which foot. When she guessed wrong, she said "oh pickles!". I don't have any idea exactly what that means, but I get the idea of what she is trying to communicate.
Communication is the life blood of relationships. At work, with my spouse, with friends and most of all with God. At my new job, I am dealing with new words, terms and phrases everyday. Tech people are infamous for all of their acronyms. But the funny thing is, for the most part I understand what they are talking about. Mostly because I am listening to not just their words; but the context, their body language, etc...
With those people we know really well, it doesn't matter exactly what words they use because we know what they are trying to say. I think that is similar to what God is trying to teach us in Romans 8:26-27, "the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."
I might use the words "oh pickles" to God, but no matter what words I use, he understands what I am trying to communicate in my heart because of the presence of the Holy Spirit who not only translates our heart to the Father, sometimes, he does the communicating for us.
When you are going through really difficult times it is at that moment when you find how much you must rely on the Holy Spirit to translate your communication. Many times words of anger or questioning might come out - but God understands our prayers because of the work of the Holy Spirit.
So open your mouth and speak. Whether you sound like a 3 years old, or a "seasoned saint", God understands what you are trying to communicate.
Perspective
There are many things which someone could say "life is about..."; many of those statements (whatever 'those' statements are) would probably have truth to them. Here's one that I was thinking about this week during my 30-40 mn daily commute. "Life is about perspective". I could write a thesis on it. We look at problems, opportunities, the past, the present and the future based on the perspective that we look at these moments in time.
I remember in 8th grade art class part of our year we spent on "perspective" drawing. I wasn't very good at it. I either wanted to imitate another picture that I had seen, or I just simply couldn't get my mind to stop thinking that each line on the paper that I drew had to stand for itself. One of the keys to drawing in perspective is to understand how the parts fit with the whole. The more you can 'see' the big picture without having it drawn out for you, the more effectively you can put each line down on the paper and trust that as the parts connect, the whole will be made clear.
Hmmmm... kinda deep. But that is a lot of what I have been going through these past couple of weeks. I guess it is similar to Proverbs 3:5-6 where we see a different picture. A picture of a path that is only lit enough to see where the next step should be taken to stay on it. To stay on this path, I/we must trust that each step will take us to the desired destination. The more we know about the "big picture" of life, as believers, we know where that path is eventually going to take us, even if we can't see what's around each bend. And I guess in a way, that is perspective too.
Like I said, there's a whole lot more that could be said, but you probably wouldn't have the time to read it :) So having the perspective that shorter is better, I'm going to stop writing now...
Not much to say but - THANK YOU!
I made a commitment to write once a week. It's been a week - and I find myself at a loss for what to write tonight. There were many things this past week that I thought about. Starting a new job, final concert at DGBC, receiving my new Demo CD in the mail... lots of exciting stuff. But if I was going to write about anything, it would be to simply say "thank you".
So....thank you to David Bechtel and Diane Sheets for helping me get the new CD started. Thank you to those who have donated money to help finish the new CD. Thank you to Bob, Brent, Jim and Pat for helping me secure a new career opportunity. Thank you to Chuck and Dave for helping me to create a new web-site. Thank you to my wonderful band and tech friends who make the music come alive and capture all the action in photos and film. Thank you to my parents, grandparents and brothers for being there. Thank you to the pastors and friends I have in churches throughout central ohio, and throughout the country. Thank you you to my church family who put up with me as a young pastor learning the ropes. Thank you to my church family for showing up ready to worship each week for the past five years. And thank you to my wife and girls for their love, and for making life a sweet place to live.
The Lord is good. Thank you Heavenly Father.
Easter Snow
8am on Easter Sunday morning and I am dressed in jeans, sitting at a Burger King drinking coffee and watching the snowfall.
Contradictions. Misfits. Anomalies.
There are so many personal contradictions in that previous statement. Primarily - for 15 years I have been leading worship somewhere on Easter Sunday morning. And yet here I sit, drinking coffee at the Burger King, instead of preparing a band and choir to lead worship for the King of Kings – I am prepping my own heart, and writing to all of you(how many of you are out there? :) to record my thoughts of this moment.
The thing is, I am ok with it. I was concerned that God wouldn’t have me serve him in someway on this one day, which along with the birth and death of Christ is the most important day in the history of mankind. But he is still using me. This morning I got the privilege of being a facilitator for the needs of a start up church here locally in Delaware. They had a last minute need for a keyboard, and I have a friend that was willing to loan his. So I met him at 7am then took it down to the other church. Cool. The body of Christ being generous and working together – someone has a need; we do whatever we can to meet it.
God also used me in a different way last night in preparing the hearts of my wife and girls for worship this morning through a simple time of reading a children's Bible recouting the birth, life, death and resurrection of Christ - then we prayed together as family for the power of the resurrection to help us to be kind to each other, to love each other and to remember that the Lord could return at anytime. In just a moment I will put away my journal, Bible and this blog and go home to take them to worship Jesus as a family. Cool.
We are all God’s servants, called to work for the Lord most high, empowered by the Holy Spirit. It doesn’t matter if we are leading our family in a time around the word or in prayer. If we are hauling equipment around – even just greeting the servers at Burger King with a “Happy Easter” and a “thank you”, was serving God. I may be called primarily to serve God from the platform on Sundays, but this “break” from that aspect of ministry is giving me the chance to more fully appreciate all the other ways that I do and can serve Him. We all fit, even when we feel out of place or unuseful.
Easter Snow. It serves a purpose. It seems like it doesn’t fit. Like it is out of place. And in a sense, it isn’t “normal”, but God has a purpose for every aspect of every season – even the anomalies. I am in the middle of an anomaly in my life and ministry – but God is using it, and in the end, the flowers will still bloom – strangely enough, more appreciated, maybe even somehow better off.
“…we are to grow up in all aspects into Him, who is the head, even Christ, from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by that which every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.” Ephesians 4:15-16
Simple Purpose, Simple Life
I'm reading a book for a class in Seminary right now called Simple Church. There is a lot within the book that I agree with, especially when it comes to strategically considering how much "process" people can handle when evaluating what church programs to fit into increasingly busy schedules. What i didn't like, was that the book practically left the Holy Spirit, the still small voice of God, out of the equation. To me, the book comes across as another "Purpose Drive Church", just written about more than one church, unlike Warren's book which is just written about his church.
I liked Purpose Driven Church when it came out, it reminded me a lot of my basic marketing and business classes that i took while getting my undergrad degree in Marketing, but it was truism about people. Simple Church is very similar. It just shies away from telling you exactly what to do like Purpose Driven did. For the record, overall, I like Simple Church too.
However... the longer I have been a pastor, the longer i have been involved in implementing church growth techniques and practices, the more concerned i am becoming that we are not seeing the Simple Purpose to which all of this church growth is supposed to be pointing to. We have nearly 20 years of megachurch growth, and probably 50 years of pushing church growth (church marketing and systems) approaches down the throats of church leaders - yet how many of those churches are seeing true conversions take place? I know there are several that are, I know some of them personally, however, when i hear many pastors talk, what I hear is more a discussion about the actual growth, the process or the programs, rather than a focus on Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit. Church Growth seems to have become an idol. I want my church to grow. I want to reach as many people for Jesus as i possibly can. But growth for growth sake is not only totally unfocused, it has the great potential to actual become counterproductive to the actual goal of reaching people with the Gospel (notice i said the Gospel, not just the "love of God".... if you wan't to know what i mean by that - send me an e-mail)
What i really like, is not Simple Church or Purpose Driven Church. What I like, and yes this is my blog, I like the church that is focused on these three things: (1) The Bible - and I'm not just saying a church that claims it is focused on the Bible, I'm talking about one that really learns and lives it. (2) People - I'm not talking about pastors standing in the pulpit and pushing the people to go get involved in the latest social activism effort - every business and govt organization can and does do that (a topic for another blog) i'm talking about truly loving people. People you don't agree with, people you don't like, people who smell different, people who have different tastes. Your neighbor, your coworker, your family member, a totally stranger - and yes(gasp) the people who attend your church. To do this, means pursuing relationship with these people - especially if you finds yourself at odds with one of them. Unity takes work. Love takes effort (sorry, I already blogged on that subject :) Finally, I like a church that is focused on (3) Worship. I'm not talking about attending a service. Playing a CD. Listening to a sermon, saying a prayer, giving a check, serving in Sunday School. I'm talking about authentic, lifechanging, soul baring, Holy Spirit encountering, Jesus revealing FOCUS of every part of our hearts, soul, mind and strength.
I don't know what kind of church that would be. I don't know what type of label to use. Do we really need labels?
Kids, teens, adults - we all desperately need to find the purpose for our lives that leads us to these three things and then stay there, bloom there, launch from there into real, intentional, influential, inspiring life.
The following is a quote from another book i just read for the same master's class. It is a book on raising "spiritual champions". A book focused on raising our kids to have authentic relationship with God. In reading it, this next quote just blew me away. Read it and maybe you will weep. If you do, just ask God to show you what it is that he made you for. He will show you.
"In our national research, we find that almost half of all adults say they
are still seeking meaning and purpose in life. Among teenagers, 2 out of 3
are still seeking that sense of direction. Not surprisingly, the figures are
highest among adolescents. We see this kind of confusion all around us,
every day - people who meander through life, aimless and lethargic, capable
but unproductive, comfortable but unfulfilled.
Meaning and purpose in life are gained by developing spiritual
understanding. Meaning and purpose are not all about occupational choices,
education degrees, marital status, financial security, personal achievement
or leisure and recreational pursuits. It is about knowing God so intimately
that you can discern His calling upon your life.
Establishing an unwavering commitment to God's calling should trump your
devotion to realizing your personal desires every time (although when you
consistently live for God, His desires eventually become your own). Why?
Because when you try to be something that God did not make you to be, (even
in pursuit of noble objectives) you can count on a life of frustration,
dissatisfaction and failure. When you listen to the voice of God to discern
what He has called you to be, then you are in line for the blessings that
enable you to succeed in the ventures for which He created you."
-George Barna - From: Transforming Children Into Spiritual Champions
"Cause You're Smart!"
A couple of weeks ago i was sitting in my living room watching my three year old playing, trying to keep up with her older sisters and mostly just trying to get a laugh out of us all. As a Dad, it is so fulfilling during those moments to just see your kids playing, having fun, enjoying "being"... So much of life, we are judged and loved conditionally, "what have you done for me lately"... but with our kids, especially when they are little like my Abby, 3 years old, there is nothing that she could possibly do to make me love her more. She's too cute :)
Anyways, I am an affectionate person and enjoy giving and receiving lots of hugs and kisses in our little family. As Abby danced her way around our living room i told her to come over and give Daddy a "big hug". She always asks when we are done, "was that big enough?" Most of the time I say, "no, I need a bigger one", and she will proceed to try and squeeze the air out of my neck if it was possible.
On this occasion, after she hugged me, i said "Abby how do you know that Daddy loves you"... I expected her to say because you tell me, or because you give me big hugs... something like that. Instead she said "Cause you're smart!" :-) Lori was sitting in the room when this happened and we both just laughed and laughed. Of course since she got the laugh, any time I ask her now - "how do you know daddy loves you" she repeats that phrase, "cause you're smart".
Well, as they say... "from the mouth of babes.."
I wanted to write this down for two reasons. One, because these little cute sayings are easy to enjoy, and quickly forgotten. I wish I had written down these kinds of statements from each child. They literally are statements rich with insight and wisdom that can be gained for life.
Secondly, I am deeply concerned about something in the church today. Unity of the brotherhood. Love. They will know we are Christians by our love... Do we understand? The wisdom of a simple statement by my Abby - in essence - Dad, you love me cause it is smart to love me. So simple. So why don't we understand that in the body of Christ, we should love each other because it is a smart thing to do? I mean, what is smart about carrying a grudge? What is smart about packing our closets full of baggage containing the hurts of the past. Bitterness, unforgiveness, pain...
The truth is, the more wisdom we gain, the more of life we experience, the more we realize the truth of Ecclesiastes 1:18 - "in much wisdom there is much grief, and increasing knowledge results in increasing pain." And so we start to think that the "smart" thing to do is to withdraw, to pack it away, to push it into the back of the closet where we can't see it any more. But rare is the person who lives their whole life in the same house. Eventually, we are forced to clean out our closest. And if we don't, you know what happens after we die, those who are left behind have to clean out our closets for us. I've seen it happen at funerals, in my counseling office years after someone has passed away - unresolved relationships. How smart is that?
"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!. It is like precious oil upon the head... It is like the dew of Hermon... For there the Lord commanded the blessing - life forever." Psalm 133
That last phrase speaks to me - "life forever". For those of us in the body of Christ, we are going to live together forever. So when do we want to resolve our differences - now in this lifetime, on this planet where we get to choose? Or do we want to wait until we get to heaven and have to wait for Jesus to bring peace. Seriously, why wait?
Why should we love each other? Why should we let go? Why should we forgive? Why should we unpack our closets, empty our old suitcases... because it is smart.
www.simpleworship.net
Check it out. As I continue to wait on God to show me his long term plans for my family and me, it became very clear that I needed to create a platform from which to share ministry, ideas and experiences with those that I have ministry relationship with. Having promoted other people my whole life/career, I have spent very, very little time promoting to others the music and ideas that God gives to me. I have felt very clearly led to do that at this time, regardless of what some people might think... what might some think? That I am arrogant or prideful in promoting myself. But that would be a judgement of motive, and that is not what God wants us to do to one another - so I will just listen to God's voice and try and ignore the voices of discouragement - and believe me, there have been many in the past 10 years of my life.
I do not have any grandiose dreams or big visions of what I am trying to do here. So what am I trying to do? Be faithful. God has given me some level of gifting, if I don't use it, he is going to bless someone else - why not me? I may never have a song recorded or distributed widely - but that's not the point, the point is being faithful. So I have dusted off the old songs, started working on the new ones, and started to raise money to pay for the first of what I hope is several recording projects over the next few years. No more waiting 6 years between recordings.
To move forward I am working to create a variety of web-sites that will promote the traveling ministry, the music itself and a web-based teaching ministry. The teaching and traveling ministry is: www.simpleworship.net, for now, the music and fundraising site is: http://www.indieheaven.com/artist_main.php?id=76779 (just copy and paste that whole line and it will take you straight to my site)
So celebrate God's goodness with me - surely he has been good, he has made the path clear, at least for this step. (proverbs 3:5-6)
Well,
It's been one year since I started this blog thing. And like all new habits, after a couple of weeks they fall by the wayside. In this case, a year has gone by, however, as bleak as that seems, I did throw up a few posts back then, which really, truly is better than nothing.
So I here I am, marking time one year later, 5 lbs lighter (hey, it's better than 5 lbs heavier :) and I am setting off into new career directions, jobs and ministry opportunities?
SAY WHAT!?
Yup, time was up at DGBC on Feb 25th. Marked one of the most signficant periods of ministry in my life. Five years of personal and corporate spiritual growth. Growth in my family as our third baby was born. Personal growth as I was stretched spiritually, had many weaknesses exposed, and generally had to come to grips with my shortcomings as a member of the human race. Professional growth as I preached about a dozen messages, conducted my first funerals, weddings... the list of firsts is too long. I thought I might be here 20+ years, but God has different plans for us. Not completely sure what those are yet, we didn't leave exactly when and how I had planned to, but God is quickly opening all kinds of doors as fast as I can pray. Actually, we have been praying about this off and on since the late fall of 2005, but everytime I would think God wanted us to leave, I could not see what the next step was - so, as someone once told me, "if in doubt, don't". So we didn't, until late this winter when things just became very clear that God was finished with us here.
You would think that having "left the nest" without knowing where we were going twice before, we would be old hands at this particular approach to life, work and ministry. Not so. Still, incredibly stressfull. Not really sure why, God has NEVER let us down. Not even close. He doesn't even give me time to consider that as even a possibility. We are so blessed.
But in that blessing is great pain. Pain in leaving great friends. Pain in leaving behind dreams for someone else to champion. Pain in leaving a comfort zone.
So I really don't know what is next. But R U KIDDING ME? It's going to be GREAT :) !!
Don't know if I will start blogging again regularly or not. So for the record, I ran about 4 5 k's last year. The final race time was down to about 28mn. Hoping to get under 27 this summer.
Running for IT
I ran a 5K race today. I haven't run a 5k race since April 1996. Yep, exactly 10 years. Happens to correspond with the month that I started dating my future wife :-) Lot has happened in between races...like 50 pounds...amazing...how did I gain 50 lbs. 15lbs with each child, plus 5 this past year...it was the last 5 that did it for me. I don't know why, but when I saw that extra 5 go on, and I didn't have a baby to blame it on (how exactly did I think the babies were to blame anyways?) something just snapped. That and the fact that many friends in the same boat as me have picked up running the past 2 years and are leaving me in the dust. Nothing like a little peer pressure.
So I ran a 30:18. I imagine that without the extra 50 I'm toating around, i could run quite a bit faster - what do you think? :-)
In April 1996, I ran a 21:30. It's slightly depressing, but it's reality. Good news is that 2 weeks ago when i started training, I was running at a 36mn pace. It's going to take a lot of hard work, discipline and patience to get back in shape. But the alternative is an open heart table - and a whole new wardrobe cause basically nothing fits anymore. Plus i have just felt sluggish and not myself. Anyways, it will be worth it. IT always is. It is discipline...it doesn't matter if it is prayer, reading the Bible, spending focused time with my wife or kids, etc.... IT always is a great return on investment...and if this was my last day on earth, IT is what I want to have been found doing.
Well, hopefully my times get better, but that's just a measurement - like my waistline :-)
"Those are the rules"
Nothing deep tonight...listening to Rascal Flatts, "Broken Road", reflecting on the day, the past couple of weeks and looking ahead.
Behind...Easter - 995 at church, nearly twice our normal attendance...I was so busy and it went so fast, I barely had time to enjoy it...but it was a good morning. My maternal grandparents were there. I sang the Easter Song for like the 10th straight Easter...it is always fun to sing though... :-) I really do need to do another recording soon...and that has to be on it. If you know me, I wonder if you have a favorite song that you have heard me sing that you think I should record? Just curious... :)
Today...Abby...she was a pill today. I have been staying home two or three mornings a week this year to watch her while Lori teaches. Most of the time she has been fine, and we get along, have some fun, but lately, she has been more grumpy and wanting more attention. Today was one of those grumpy days. She like me, has bad seasonal allergies in addition to her food allergy to wheat. Anyways, she has resorted to a variety of tactics to express her grumpy moods, most of which i won't go into here. All of this, to mention something totally unrelated...she, like all 2 1/2 footers (as my brother David like to call them) says some of the funniest things. Lately, she likes to get on her "soap box" and start waxing elequently about some nonsense regarding me, her sisters or mommy, telling us all how certain things should be. Sometimes she just recounts all the things she hears that her sisters have to do like "clean your room, brush your teeth..etc...but then she will add "and those are the rules". Just hilarious when she says it, hands on hips and a glean in her eye. No way you could ever stay mad at the kid...she's always looking for a laugh...and usually gets one :)! Took her and Lori to Burger King for lunch. She likes french fries with ketchup. Tonight I fixed Brianna's bike then went on a 30mn bike ride around our 'hood with the older girls. Elizabeth must have pointed out 20 houses that she knew the name of the kid who lived there. Very impressive!
Looking ahead...running a 5k this Saturday. I got out my old racing numbers and results. My last race i ran at a 7:05 pace in April of 1996, just one month after I had met Lori). This Saturday I will be doing my best to run a 10:15 pace. Should be interesting...i'm looking forward to it though, and running with some friends from my church. Next weekend, we are hosting our first "district praise night"...over 100 in the mass choir, friends and peers from all over the city, coming to our church to worship, praise and hopefully - to have fun!. In between, I need to mow the grass - desperately :-)
Like I said nothing special tonight...just some randomness...
Check it out...someone actually has the courage to call the dream of the perfect american family, the newest, "american idol". Are our children being raised to be narcissists? Are the Suburbs to blame? How do we fight this insidious evil of suburbanite anti-community? :-) Seriously, is this really a problem? Or is this an overreaction...
A very well written blog...take a look(click on the header to this entry) and let me know what you think...
-bb-
John Chapter 1 - a few thoughts
I am reading through the book of John in preparation for Passion Week. We are going to show the new movie called "the Gospel of John" to our church on Maundy Thursday, so I wanted to refresh myself with the text. I know this is cliche, but even after reading John chapter 1, 100 times, I still find God speaking to me in new ways, revealing things I hadn't seen before - and usually pressing application upon my mind that probably wasn't yet relevant in my life.
Two main thoughts jumped out at me in the 2nd half of the chapter...
#1 - the humility of John the Baptist...he goes from being the religious star, the Billy Graham of the day, to watching his disciples literally leave his side - vs. 37: "When the two disciples heard him(John the Baptist) say this, they followed Jesus." And of course after this, we really don't hear much more about him until he is in prison about to lose his head. Talk about having things go south in a hurry! What captured me though, was the fact that JOHN was the one who initiated the demise of his own career. Which is the humility thing...and what clearly demonstrates the sincerity of John's motive and the sincerity of the message he proclaimed - "to make straight the way of the Lord". The other element of humility was in how he did not hold tightly to those whom he led. The application of this to me personally was very convicting. It is so tempting to hold on to volunteers, relationships with people, etc...because it is what makes us feel comfortable. I think that is the case in many if not most employment situations - where the emphasis is on what you can and are doing for the organization, instead of the organization looking out for your own interests first. In this case, John the Baptist gave up two of his prime disciples and didn't just let them go, he encouraged them to go follow Jesus - and to do whatever Jesus called them to do. I want to have that kind of attitude toward those who serve under my leadership...
#2 the other major thought that jumped out from this passage was that Jesus didn't call 4 if not all 5 of the first 5 disciples. To sum it up...John the Baptist "called" Andrew and John. Andrew called Peter, and Philip called Nathaniel. It seems Jesus called Philip, but since Philip was from the same town as Andrew and Peter, I would speculate that Andrew and Peter probably either directly or indirectly led Jesus to Philip. The relevancy of this to me is the striking example that Jesus gives us of how he wants us to be about His ministry of making disciples. Yes, it is Jesus and His Words/teaching that we are called to hear and follow, but Jesus wanted to and still wants to use us to do the calling, and also even the modeling and the instruction. Matt 28 - "go", is better translated, "as you are going" - that we should be making disciples all along the way, in direct 'calls', and indirect modeling of our relationship with Christ. Jesus doesn't need us to call men to himself, but He WANTS to use us. Am I looking for those around me that Jesus would have me say "come and see"...am I looking for those around me that maybe I should encourage to pursue Jesus and "let them go" from under direct care and training?
Anyways, I know this isn't all that terribly insightful, but it spoke to me this week. Hope it encouraged you....
-b-
eating from the fireplace?
lori and the girls are on spring break this week in Virginia leaving me to fend for myself. it has been an interesting week alternating between freedom to pursue projects and extra work that i have put off, and the feelings of lonliness and emptiness at not having them here. it is VERY quiet. way TOO quiet. i have been trying to catalogue how i feel while they are gone for this long (we are at the end of day 4 today) and i can't really describe it. it isn't so much i miss something in particular that we do...i just miss the being...i guess what it is teaching me is that being a family is not about what you do together, where you go on vacation, what activities you do, etc...but it is simply about being connected to each other...the buzz word community comes to mind...i dunno...i just feel really inadequate and clueless right now...
anyways...that's not what I wanted to blog about...i was really wanting to make an observation...with everyone gone, I have gone after a few neglegated projects...like cleaning out the fireplace...so on Sunday I got out the vac, the brooms, the dustpans and went at it...I didn't think it would take too long, but it ended up being at least a 30mn project...as i went along i kept thinking to myself - at what point do i declare this thing "clean"...i mean, no matter how much i vaccuum it, will i ever feel it is clean enough to say, eat a meal off of it? of course not - because it is contaminated...
it made me reflect and think of how God looks at each of us as sinners...no matter how much we try to clean ourselves up, we would never be usable for God's service if we just try to "clean up" on our own... and it is amazing to me, that God wants to use us even though he knows us so well...
I guess you can take that little reflection as you want to...it just made me grateful, and aware of my sin nature...and my deep need for Jesus...
thechurchplanter blog: understanding the Emerging Church--Ed Stetzeri love this summary evaluation of the emerging church - specifically, it's philosophies and just as importantly, it's leadership.
i'm all for cultural relevancy, but let's not throw the baby out with the bath water.
As was said to me recently, true emergent "style" churches will always have a place in a large, urban environment. It truly is no different than any other attempt at cultural relevancy - and pretty much will only work in an environment where it makes sense to have a relatively homogeneous grouping - or maybe not? what do you think?
That said, i am and have been keeping my eye on the whole "movement", because usually there are styles or ministry concepts and ideas that are birthed in environments like these that have a carryover value to the more traditional church structure environment.
I'd love to hear dialogue on the emerging movement, and it's potential impact on the traditional church structure - including the "traditional" corporate worship service...are there other blogs or other forums where these approaches are being discussed and evaluated?
Entering the fray...
Well...here it goes...entering the world of blogging seems on one hand a completely worthless waste of time...i already had a journal...handwritten, then an electronic journal...neither of which I write in much any more...so why would i write more in this format...especially since i will obviously be self-editing much more than i ever did in the other formats...i guess there is something fascinating about the concept of someone else reading what you are thinking, what you did, what is important to you, etc... and actually caring...or not :-)
I guess it is also a place to ask random questions...that in a normal journal would never be answered, but in this format...hey you never know who might have an answer to - why someone doesn't invent a form of Duct Tape that doesn't leave the sticky residue...or maybe an answer to why...well you get the idea...
So here we are jumping into the "fray"...interesting word...
To strain; chafe: repeated noises that fray the nerves.
To wear away (the edges of fabric, for example) by rubbing.
To become worn away or tattered along the edges.
A scuffle; a braw.
A heated dispute or contest.
To alarm; frighten.
To drive away.
n : a noisy fight [syn: affray, disturbance, ruffle] v 1: wear away by rubbing; "The friction frayed the sleeve" [syn: frazzle] 2: cause friction; "my sweater scratches" [syn: rub, fret, chafe, scratch]
Not sure exactly what definition most appropriately fits the world of blogging...but since i am my own writer, editor and publisher in this enviornment, I will draw reference to the ocean - waves that vary in intensity, but, except for brief respites at low tide, never cease....and in the process slowly transforms a boulder into pebbles...draw your own insights...i don't have enough time to share the various implications in my own life...but blogging seems to be a way to capture the process of life's friction...not to avoid it, but to simply record the process and observe the changes over time....
I don't know how this goes as far as a blog is concerned...but i enjoyed writing it...i'll have to read some of yours to gain perspective.
