eating from the fireplace?
lori and the girls are on spring break this week in Virginia leaving me to fend for myself. it has been an interesting week alternating between freedom to pursue projects and extra work that i have put off, and the feelings of lonliness and emptiness at not having them here. it is VERY quiet. way TOO quiet. i have been trying to catalogue how i feel while they are gone for this long (we are at the end of day 4 today) and i can't really describe it. it isn't so much i miss something in particular that we do...i just miss the being...i guess what it is teaching me is that being a family is not about what you do together, where you go on vacation, what activities you do, etc...but it is simply about being connected to each other...the buzz word community comes to mind...i dunno...i just feel really inadequate and clueless right now...
anyways...that's not what I wanted to blog about...i was really wanting to make an observation...with everyone gone, I have gone after a few neglegated projects...like cleaning out the fireplace...so on Sunday I got out the vac, the brooms, the dustpans and went at it...I didn't think it would take too long, but it ended up being at least a 30mn project...as i went along i kept thinking to myself - at what point do i declare this thing "clean"...i mean, no matter how much i vaccuum it, will i ever feel it is clean enough to say, eat a meal off of it? of course not - because it is contaminated...
it made me reflect and think of how God looks at each of us as sinners...no matter how much we try to clean ourselves up, we would never be usable for God's service if we just try to "clean up" on our own... and it is amazing to me, that God wants to use us even though he knows us so well...
I guess you can take that little reflection as you want to...it just made me grateful, and aware of my sin nature...and my deep need for Jesus...
posted by Blackie's Tour @ 11:20 PM
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